Amazing.

Jul. 12th, 2013 | 07:53 pm

My livejournal can't die, I have to post something. ^^

Ever since i got Selma and go to town or to someplace with many people arond me, I see so many people I think i recognize. But I don't, it's just... I think i know their faces. I feel like this with alot of people I see, and it has got me wondering. Maybe the mother-hormones I got that were supposed to make me very observant of Selma's moods and demands have made me notice -faces- more than before? I really can't explain it any other way. I study their faces (until they look at me strangely), and really feel like I've met/seen them before. But I haven't, not so many people. It's so strange!



She's so big now, our little girl. Almost 20 months. Very determined, playful, exploring, learning... It's an amazing age, this. We love her so much, every day spent with her we are amazed and overloaded with cuteness, even though there are harder days sometimes. It's all about letting her out to play, making her tired, making her learn new things all the time though, so no time for anything else. I miss browsing fleamarkets for hours or lying half asleep on a blanket somewhere, listening to the summer sounds. We're happy if we can sit still for 2 minutes on that blanket.

We're off to see a Game of Thrones episode now, still watching season 2. I'm reading book three (part 2). Still amazing, these novels.

Btw, I'm on Instagram now too. ebba_db

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Livet med en Semla

Aug. 8th, 2012 | 10:23 pm
mood: happyhappy

Ojoj, vad länge det har gått sedan jag skrev här sist. Ändå vill jag inte att min livejournal ska dö, så det är nog dags att ta tag i det nu med ett fetinginlägg. Ska göra mindre i fortsättningen...



8 månader och en vecka som mamma. Hur sammanfattar man det? Tiden går så otroligt fort och trots att man inte tror att man någonsin ska kunna glömma något Selma har gjort, så minns jag inte längre exakt hur hon var när hon var 3 månader - man bara anpassar sig till den nya, smartare, större Selma hela tiden och fascineras över hur fort utvecklingen går. Det är sorgligt att man fort glömmer. Tur att vi har så många kort och filmer.

Maten

När hon var fyra månader började jag (enligt "regelboken" numera) att introducera lite smakisar, mosade grönsaker, men det ratades. Jag provade gröt och allt möjligt men hon var totalt ointresserad. Jag kände mig frustrerad, men jag vet att det var för att jag jämförde henne med andra bebisar (vissa älskar ju allt direkt), och för att jag kände ett visst tryck från BVC som säger att det blir lättare med deras matglädje senare, om de introduceras tidigt till nya smaker...

Vid 6 månader började hon plötsligt gapa för skeden, då var det dock bara potatis-majspure på burk som gällde så det fick hon varje dag. Sen började jag blanda den burken med potatis-rödspätta och det gick ner, så länge det smakade majs. Mer och mer har introducerats och nu står vi inför att börja laga lite mer egen mat till henne. Jag har bara avvaktat med det under semestern, då burkmat (ekologisk) varit mer praktiskt.

Hon kommer att få äta vegetariskt + fisk, som vi gör.

När hon var runt 4 månader trodde jag att jag skulle kunna trappa ner på amningen när hon blev 6 månader, men eftersom hon bara åt små mängder har jag fortsatt att i princip helamma fram tills nu. Amningen är mysig, men lite jobbig ibland när hon inte är så hungrig eller intresserad och inte tömmer ordentligt. Då får jag knölar och början till mjölkstockning. Har inte tagit ett enda dopp i sommar på grund av det. Det är en supermysig stund, verkligen. Det gör henne dock ganska låst till mig, på så sätt att hon bara vill sova när hon ammats först. Det är nog dags att fasa ut amningen nu, och kanske introducera välling på kvällen, så att även Erik kan lägga henne.

En dag ser ut så här nu, ungefär (ibland vaknar hon på natten av sin mage, men inte så jätteofta)

05:30 - 06:00 - Selma vaknar och jag ammar. Sen är hon jättevaken och vill att vi går upp.
06:30 - 08:00 - Selma leker på mattan och jag/Erik försöker äta frukost, surfar lite. Dock gnäller hon om man lämnar rummet eller inte tittar på henne ibland. Det är den fasen nu. Mycket gnäll - separationsångest. Lilla snuttan <3
09:00 - Selma får lite egenkokad havregrynsgröt som hon precis börjat tycka är okej, om man kokar med lite päron.
9:00 - 9:30 - Någonstans här blir Selma jättetrött och vi går en lång sovpromenad. Hon sover med lite tur 40 minuter. När hon vaknar går vi hem.
11:30 - Selma äter en halv stor burk (eller mer!) mat, därefter katrinplommonpuré för magens skull.
12:00 - 14:30 - Vi hittar på något i form av ärenden, utflykter eller liknande. Tar med lite fruktpure om hon skulle bli gnällig. Annars finns ju alltid bröstet. Sovstund nånstans här också.
ca 14:30 - 16:00 - Lek på mattan och med oss. Sovstund. Mosad avocado med lite gröt/potatis i. Storfavoriten! Lite amning nån gång här också.
18:00 - Vi äter, och Selma äter ännu mer mat + katrinplommon, ibland nästan en hel burk.
19:00 - Ammar och Selma somnar och läggs ner i sin säng.



Trots gnälligheten, som innebär att hon skrik-gnäll-gråter när vi lämnar rummet eller när hon plötsligt märker att man inte sitter bredvid längre, är hon verkligen världens duktigaste!

Selma har ALDRIG varit sjuk. Inte ens förkyld! Ingen nästäppa, feber eller hosta. Det är säkert amningen och att hon inte utsätts för dagis-baciller, men lite stolt får man ju vara!

Hon ser ALLT och bryr sig bara om små detaljer. En liten tråd som sticker ut från tröjan och hennes lilla pekfinger är där och pillar... En liten droppe vatten på bordet får henne att glömma allt - hon bara måste peta på den! Ett litet hårstrå i handen, stor koncentration... Det är så gulligt!

Hon har nästan lärt sig peka och säger "dah" "ma-ma-ma-ma" och "pa-pa-pa-pa" (medvetet eller ej) och små viskande gurglande prat-sekvenser får man också höra ibland.

Hon har den senaste månaden fått allt mer hår och har nu små korta fjun som kittlar när man snusar henne på huvudet, vilket är typ det enda jag gör hela dagarna för hon luktar så gott. <3

Än så länge kan hon inte krypa eller åla - men hon sitter jättebra. Frustrationen kommer nog släppa lite när hon kan ta sig fram själv, vi får se när det blir. Då är det slut på lugnet och att sitta och pyssla med annat! Kommer bli en så stor skillnad med en liten krabat som rör sig mellan rummen.

Och så har vi visst gift oss också. 31 juli på Kölberg i Hälsingland. <3 Underbar plats, fint sällskap och en supermysig dag. Känns skönt att äntligen kunna säga "min man" om Erik-älsklingen. <3

Semestern var fin! Selma har varit på Gotland i 10 dagar och i Hälsingland lika länge. Där har hon sett havet och skogen, tjärnar och bergstoppar, ryckt gräs och svalt ett björklöv (det kom upp igen...). Hon har ätit sin lunch på en filt på stranden och fikat på konditori i Söderhamn. Hon kan hon!



Ett halvår kvar på ledigheten. Det kommer gå för fort....

Mycket Selma-nack-fjun-snusande ska hinnas med innan dess. Underbara unge!

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So much stuff

Feb. 27th, 2012 | 01:32 pm
mood: satisfiedsatisfied

Spring has arrived. At least in my mind and in our kitchen. I love that the sun is finally back and I long until april and may when Selma will be older and we can sit on a blanket outside...



I buy a lot of things for Selma, all second hand (Tradera) and beautiful and cheap. When it comes to my own style of clothing it's boring nowadays, because I want to wear tops, sweaters and shirts that I can easily nurse in, which sadly means almost only H&M nursing wear that I bought cheap from different people. It's all in blue, grey and black tones, really boring! I'll have to do something about that!

At least I can wear my old stretch jeans and leggings and stuff again. I've lost so much weight and now I weigh 2kg less than I did before I got pregnant (54 instead of 56). The production of milk takes so much energy! I have to eat like a horse to not lose more weight :(

Selma is slowly starting to find her hands, which means she's sucking on them and drooling alot. I bought these cute drooling scarves from a sewing blog online, where i could choose from different fabrics. I could sew some myself but i haven't got the energy right now. Selma will look cute in these!



As a gift for myself, I've bought the limited edition Moomin mug celebrating that Helsinki is 2012's design capital. The print on it is from "Vem kan trösta knyttet", a book that i love.



On Thursday Selma will get her first two vaccination shots, poor thing! I'm nervous already. I hope we'll be able to comfort her fast. Whenever she's at home and gets tired of me (I'm the food machine...) she always gets happy sitting with Erik, plus, as soon as he speaks with her she starts laughing. I love that. Love them <3 <3 <3

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Min lilla böna

Jan. 30th, 2012 | 05:01 pm
mood: peacefulpeaceful





Everyday life sure has changed. We go up at 8, 9 or even 11:30, I feed her from both breasts, I change diapers, and think about what to do during the day. We go to Kista galleria if we need something, take a short walk in Akalla or go to town to meet people, at least once a week.. But the days are short and time flies by and Selma is two months already! I take loads of photos and make videos because i know, when she's 6 months we will have forgotten how small and helpless she was around this age. She still can't hold toys and we have to hold her head up. But within a month, she might!

It's 24 hours Selma nowadays, I can't help that it's all i talk about. ;___;

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Blaaaah.

Jan. 6th, 2012 | 05:39 pm
mood: sicksick



I was sick with pneumonia with high fever, coughing lots of slime for two weeks, and over christmas. The antibiotics i got the first week didn't help so i got a new one for another week, which has probably killed all good bacteria for me because when I finally got well, I'm now sick with a cold, runny itchy nose and all that. >___<

Never been sick this long! But I will get better, for sure. Selma is awake so much at night so I get around 4-5 hours of sleep spread out between 22:00 and 08:00, if I'm lucky. That is not really helping me get better from my cold. Ah well. She's such a dear anyway!

On monday Erik starts working again and if I'm feeling better then, I will start to get some going-out-routines here. I need to get fresh air every day with Selma! And i want to start meeting people again, having tea and learning to breast-feed in public ;)

With so much breast-feeding (every 3rd hour) I feel like a milk machine. If she's too tire and eats from one breast only one time, the other one is just pouring out milk by itself after a few hours... Puh!

Now some non-baby-talk:

We didn't give any christmas gifts this year, which was a little boring but it would have been impossible to have time for that. We spent christmas eve by my parents with my brother, my sisters and their children. We spent new years eve at home (surprise), watching Magnolia which is one of my fav films of all time.

I'm trying to update my handwritten 5-year-diary with everything that has happened the last 2 months, which is kind of hard. From now on, I will really try to write a little in it each day. Haven't written anything in it since 2008.... I'm just lazy.

Also: I'm working on a book with our favourite recipes, so now we have it all collected instead of written on small paper notes that you have to search for each time. All hand-written but very tidy and organized, weee!

I wonder if I'll have the guts to go into town for the first time next week.. Maybeee... Just need to find a good emergency-location for breast feeding. Will do, will do.

Ooops, baby-talk. It's like that now. Sorry.

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Days running by

Dec. 9th, 2011 | 07:45 pm
mood: tiredtired



We are so happy we got such an uncomplicated baby! She sleeps for 2-3 hours, eats for 10 minutes, is awake for 40 mins - 1 hour, then sleeps again 2-3 hours, sometimes more. She only screams a little when she wakes up hungry or when she's a little tense because of poo that needs to come out. Well okay, this afternoon she wanted to eat 3 times in 2 hours, but still... When she wakes up at night, Erik goes to change her diaper, while I prepare for breast feeding (pillows, squeezing out some milk, etc).

She can be however sad and screaming, but as soon as she taste that drop of milk, she turns quiet and happy, eating. I know things can change rapidly and she might not be this easy to handle in a few weeks. But still, we are amazed over how well she takes on life and her new environment. <3 <3 <3

My nipples are not as sore anymore. Before, I was crying from pain when she fed, but now it just hurts the first 20 seconds, when she sucks really strong, then it feels okay. It's amazing to be able to have her food ready there, just like that, produced. :)

However, the days are totally devoted to her, so I don't really do much. When she sleeps, I watch TV or sit in front of the computer or clean up a bit. Well, lots of time is spent eating and drinking tea too :) Erik is the best dad ever <3

I wish I could do something more meaningful but it's hard to come up with something in these 2-3-hour-periods that the day is cut up into. I've been outside for 5 minutes two times since she was born. The three of us took a short walk with the wagon, but it's so cold outside and we don't want her to get too cold this early, so we kept it short. That means I've been sitting inside for a loooong time, probably the longest ever!

(Thank god for True blood season 3, sooo exciting! I watch one episode every day.)

We slowly have to get out more, to get used to it. Next week on Tuesday, Erik will start working again (some days from home) and I might have to go out at times...

Days running by sooo fast. Soon it's christmas. First christmas as a little family of three <3

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Selma <3

Dec. 3rd, 2011 | 10:05 am
mood: happyhappy

Now she's here, our little Selma. Born at 10:05 on november 29th. 3370g and 50 cm.



We barely sleep, my nipples bleed, but she's just perfect. <3 <3 <3

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Bun bun bunny.

Nov. 26th, 2011 | 06:56 pm
mood: restlessrestless

We got a final date for the C-section now, 12th of december. If nothing happens before, that is. It might be that the amniotic fluid decreases. Or that the baby seems tired inside. Or that I go into labour with contractions and stuff. In that case, they'll take her out before the 12th. So theoretically, it can still be any time now!

15 days. Such a looooong waaaaait. We were so certain that they'd do it one week before due-date (dec 11th), like they usually do with C-sections, and they would do that but all C-section-hours are booked so they can't sqeeze us in, in that week. However, it's probably better for our little darling to stay inside for as long as possible, and grow some more.

(We'll continue to go to the hospital every second day to check the level of amniotic fluid with ultra sound.)

To get my mind off all this, I baked lussebullar / lucia buns today.

Aaaand we took a short walk to see the three rabbits at Akalla By.

And also, I met up with a girl from the super great Stockholm trade-group on facebook and got a cute Pingu baby wagon toy, traded it for a packet of baby porridge :D






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Waiting...

Nov. 22nd, 2011 | 11:22 am
mood: hopefulhopeful

Since last monday, we've been to the hospital every second day + monday to measure the amount of amniotic fluid. We could become parents tomorrow, or on friday, or sunday, or later... As soon as it's too little fluid in there, they'll take her out the same day! Such a nervous wait, this! Every week inside is better for her, I'll try to keep that thought in mind. At the same time, we want her to be taken out before she's affected negatively in any way, of course.. I have to keep track of her movements and if I feel her being a bit slow in there, I have to call the hospital. Pfuhhhh. Stay energetic in there! *strokes baby head*

I will be a mum in probably less than 15 days. Can't really handle that thought right now :P

I've been sewing bedsheets and stuff for the baby bed, today I'll make some pillow cases. I also baked several loaves of bread yesterday, so proud ^^ Erik's dad, sister+fiancé came over this weekend with the winter tires to our car, nice to see them again before the "chaos" begins. :)

Everything is prepared at home at least. There's so many great quality baby items out there that people sell for no money at all. I've been ordering cute baby clothes from people on Tradera, mostly in brown/green/blue/grey colors. The rest is bought in thrift stores. The bed and most other "big" things are bought from people on Blocket.

What have I bought new? The mattress for the bed, and the safe-seat for the car... That's about it. It's better that way, I'm scared of all the toxics in new textiles, plus, most of them look so boring.

I'm finally catching up with True Blood season 3, I watch one episode every day now (ep 4 next). So exciting ^^



Waiting for a new friend ^^



The low november sun makes our living room so bright and sunny during the days.



And the kitchen <3



This is what I've been doing a lot lately.
They've been showing us her face each time. Cuuuute <3



Bread, mmmmm...



Tradera-finds.



We're in awe of the sun in the evenings. Only the snow is missing. Soon...

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Change of plan (week 37 (36+2))

Nov. 14th, 2011 | 08:14 pm
mood: tiredtired

So we're back from a long day at the hospital, where we went because they wanted to turn the baby around completely, since she's in the wrong position with her head up and butt down.

They started with checking out her heart rate with a CTG machine for 45 minutes, to check that she's all right. They found her a bit too peaceful (sleeping), but that could be because I hadn't eaten anything, so they decided they'll make another one later.

After that they made an ultrasound to check her exact position. But then they discovered that the level of amniotic fluid was a bit low, so I was sent up one floor to make another, more complete, ultrasound where they checked the amniotic fluid AND the size of the baby.

Turned out the fluid was indeed a bit on the low side, aaaand our tiny girl herself was a bit small, too. 2,3 kilograms instead of the normal 2,8.

All this led to the following conclusions:
- Too little amniotic fluid to turn her around.
- Too little fluid to give birth with the bum first.
- Which means: caesarian section...

Plus: They will monitor the decrease/increase of the amniotic fluid and try to decide when it will be too little. I'll go back there on wednesday. Usually, a C-section is made 7-10 days before the original due date, but now it might even be before that, depends on the level of fluid in there.

Of course, the fluid could increase magically, so that they can turn her around, but probably not! But they'll check...

Then i was allowed to EAT and after that, the CTG-heartrate-check was much better and she was energetic in there.

Ok, so a C-section is NOT what we've been expecting. We've read and practiced and prepared alot for a normal birth... But it seems there's nothing to do about that now. We can just hope that the breathing and eating skills will be fine. Usually, they are not as prepared when they are lifted out "just like that", compared to a normal birth when they're squeezed out... But I trust the doctors in this case.

She might come out a few weeks before the original date. Which is very, very soon.
Our tiny little thing. At least she's healthy, kicking and pushing inside. <3 <3 <3

Puhhhh, so much emotion this day! I slept three hours last night so I'll sleep soooo good tonight.
-____-

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