May 25th, 2002


(no subject)

give me money someone. now. i can't have it like this. this frustration of not being able to support, explain and show close that i care. if this money-question somehow destroys what i have now [and it's really trying its best it seems]....i will.....i will move to an unknown, small, scotish island and live there for the rest of my life with a fluffy sheep called elliot. i really will.

what can you do but believe? is there really anything else we humans can do? if we didn't believe things were important we would just sit somewhere staring on each other, without moving, not wanting to do anything else, wouldn't we? but this is different i guess. but since i'm a human being i really do believe. things are important. especially this. worth alot.

i am counting the days and i am trying really hard not to go crazy. there is nothing else i can do right now. i'm in chains.

and inside the machine is still the evening soundtrack. except that i think he's singing: i have this feeling, that i could die here, i'm electricity, i don't know why. when i'm beside you, for a while, i'm never crying, feeling allright...
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    restless restless