August 31st, 2002


shadow bats.

i'm the master of soap bubbles. i sit up here in our flat on the third floor in a way that makes people passing by on the street think i will fall down, and they stare at me all the time when they pass. as if they would be able to save me if i really fell. ah well. up there i blow soap bubbles. the hard thing is to find the wind, then finding the right part of the wind. and not getting all the bubbles in my face. [they taste bad.] i also don't want them to blow backwards, because then i'm unable to see them. [if i don't quickly turn my whole body around and make the people on the street get something real to stare at..]

you can choose if you want the bubbles to be many and be blown out far aove the middle of the street. you can also try to create the biggest bubble yet by mankind to be seen. i know how to. my biggest bubble so far is around 25 cm in diameter. the trick is to hold the bubbleholder a bit leaned, and then blow gently until a satisfying size is created. then it's kind of hard: you must blow with the exact same strength and then make a little short blow to make the bubble fly away. then you must immediately stop blowing so that no other bubbles are created which will destroy the big one. then, when the big big big bubble you wanted for so long is finally flying in the air you must create wind and push it away, because it's so heavy it wants to go downwards and crash. i managed to blow one big bubble upwards, and it went all the way to the yellow building structure thing and through it and beyond it. it was a lucky bubble.

if i was a my little poni i would be called bubble hop.

later in the night i sat in a huge gothic house with more rooms than i can count and tried to flee from two clouds of hash smoke which surrounded me from two sides in a very unpleasant way. i went to the toilet and sat down for a while, or rather, stood looking out of the window. i pressed my nose tip against the glass to be able to see better, and to be able to breathe some fresh air, then i realised i could open the window. ahhh it was perfect outside. the sky was yet a little too bright for starlight. i thought i saw a big red star falling, but then it faded and i realised i was watching a radio-wave thing far off in the horizon. or rather, when it got turned on again and started blinking i realised it was a radio-thing. the best thing with them is that when they fade, the light comes back again very soon. it was a very soft blinking and i leaned out of the window and dicovered another one, on a hill a bit closer. they blinked very unsynchronized but it didn't matter. and my chest started hurting by the leaning out of the window but it didn't matter.

it smelled of trees and forest and polluted cars and vomit. the house is one of the most magnific places to live i've ever seen. or house is the wrong word, mansion it should be called. outside the window it's a roof leaning softly, and a very broad drain-pipe in the lower end of it. i so wanted to crawl out of the window and sit down on the roof and just watch the lights from the city. far away was a high hill and i could see lights from cars who turned up on their very own parking lot when they turned so that the lights came towards me. i looked for bats, but there were none, even if the shadows in the trees sometimes looked as small bats hanging upside down. it would have been very fitting in that garden. the crickets played extra-loud when i suddenly realised that the vomit smell wasn't coming from vomit, but from the old leaves in the drain pipe. knowing that made the smell smell much better.

oh how much i'd want one of these big houses with a tower [it has a tower!] with a climbable roof where you can lie warm summer evenings and watch the town and the trees. because it is located in the town, or a little above. when i had asked myself for the sixtieth time how people can want to sit in a sweaty room and smoke hash when just looking out of a window is drugs enough for a whole evening i gave up. then i suddenly thought of the person who gets sad and disppointed when i go away from other people to watch the stars alone.. so instead of climbing the rood and sit up there with the toilet door locked until people would search me thinking i had jumped, i unlocked the door and went back to the room. in the room were also an old half naked rat and a rabbit. i wanted to take them with me and show them the stars. then henni came and saved me. then i thought: "i think in diary entries once again."

people sure have different ideas about entertainment.

and there is something about this night that reminds me about my graduation night. i think i can see a pattern in my personality. the trees. i love the trees.

and i love his tummy. i wonder if it's as asleep as the rest of him?
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