November 16th, 2002

blad

för det är ett spel och du vill inte va mä...

i thought that moving here and getting a job might make me a little bit more grown up, at least i have felt older and better and just...more...mature. men tji fick jag:

clemens and i have booked tickets to stockholm. i will leave the 17th and he will leave the 26th. we will both go back together the 6th next year. it never occured to me in my stupid little brain that christmas holidays is something that not usually comes together with the working life. i don't know how i can be so stupid. i work every saturday now, and i don't know what i was thinking of, when i thought i can leave and stay and work however i wanted in the hennes&mauritz shop.

today the boss and the guy who's the head of divided called me into a personal serious speech saying that i just couldn't go away on holidays just like that when i was signed up for them. of course i can't, garghhhh! i felt so darn stupid because i haven't spend ONE single thought on that fact.

we solved the situation with that i will leave [sign off] H&M. that's the only thing possible if i want to get home with that flight. and now i'm so ashamed so i guess i'll never come back. after christmas i will search for another job. garghhh. the whole day i've just felt how angrily they were looking at me. it might be my imagination, but so be it then. it was horrible.

now i'm tired.

and i think it might be just about right that i get home to sweden for a while seeing how real grown-ups actually manage to deal with their lives.

meanwhile i'll eat my mums home cooked food. a cooked meal every day! hopefully i'll gain several kilos. and i won't even stress for christmas gifts because i don't have any money.

i'll hope for lots of snow until the 26th and look forward to it.

clemens in stockholm. again. soon. [taking care of his far too stupid girlfriend...]

and it was lovely to have naomi here, talking all night, even if it was short. to talk to someone who understands stuff. dankeeeeee darling.
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