May 11th, 2005


(no subject)

after talking to my mum today, i took a walk to the graveyard in the rain. it's close to here and i like being there. i saw several snails on the way, but didn't manage to take any good photos of them because my camera is too old for nice close-ups. anyway, i thought of many things on the way, amone which are these:

i have ordered the piece of paper i need to leave the swedish church, however now i am hesitating again. my mum (who has left the church long ago) said to me that you can't only decide after if you believe in god or not, it's more to it than that. anyway, i would feel it would be kind of bad if they couldn't afford to take care of the graveyards and churches anymore, because there are an important cultural inheritence. as it now is, they have to sell many churches. she also pointed out the good work they do with helping asylum immigrants and other marginalized groups of society. so there would be other things than the strictly religous, that mattered.
so the question is: does the church still do many good things, enough for giving them the small amount of money in taxes that i do per year? and does the church represent values so bad that i don't want anything to do with them? is it really that much of a big deal? i'm not sure. all i know is i love graveyards and i feel at ease and peace there. i believe in something, but not the christian god, and i don't want to merry in church. and i want the graveyards and churches to stay as beautiful as they are now. can anyone give me comments about the swedish church?

i love parks, plants, trees and gardens. i could very well see myself working with such things. i'm considering doing sociology only to a kandidatexamen (around 3 years) and then take a KY-program (kvalificerad yrkesutbildning) as a gardener later. because i know i can't work with only one thing all my life. i could also think of working as a baker/pastry chef (konditor) later, they have 1-2 years of programmes for that as well! i love this link, it gives me hope that it IS possible to choose many paths in life - at once! ----->

i am thinking of who i am - a town person or a countryside person? and i have concluded that i am both. i love nature and gardens, and during my walk today i decided that i (some time in my life at least) want to live in a house with a garden. earlier, i thought a flat and a summer house might be enough, but i'm not sure anymore. i want animals and fresh vegetables...

talking walks like that is like meditating, i find out who i really am. i like that.

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