August 24th, 2005


(no subject)

today i waited several hours awake until it was finally late enough in the morning to call my friend madde, asking if i could go to her place, because i can't take it here alone. luckily she's so great, and i was there today until 20:30, when i forced myself to go home, fearing it a lot. i talk and talk and talk to anyone who wants to listen and i get a sick feeling every time a tv-show ends, desperately searching for a new one to have on in the background, some noise, something. soon, paula will live here, which will help a lot. and i know i will get through this, i know i'm strong, i know it's right goddammit, but that doesn't erase the fucking pain one tiny bit.

once again, friends, i <3 you.

sorry for these pathetic entries, i will stop with them soon

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